Seeking Closure

We all have a past. Sooner or later we all need to face it.

On Monday of this week, I went to Camp Calumet for a Dean’s Retreat.* Arriving at Camp early, I set out to find the scene of my sledding accident where I fractured a bone in my head on February 21, 2013 (http://sinibaldo.wordpress.com/2013/02/27/so-i-broke-my-head). I have felt incredibly grateful since that day, both in the way others cared for me and that I have healed so well since it happened. What I didn’t know was how I would feel about my accident when I would walk back up the toboggan run: Awkward? Out of place? Angry? Sad? Remorseful? Regretful? Maybe I would feel a little of each of these things. I knew I would never know unless I went there. Whatever I would feel or think, I thought I would benefit from the closure. So I walked up the path alone to find my tree.

Back to My Tree

It only took a couple of minutes to identify “my tree”. The day I crashed into it I remember looking straight at the tree, and a particular stain upon the side of it. While I was lying there, I studied it as if to take a mental picture. Even then I suppose I knew that if I could I would want to retrace my steps back to this spot, and here I was. I approached the tree closely. I looked at it, I reached out my hand and touched it. I paused for a moment and just stood there. I took a few pictures (of course). I attempted to recall the events of that winter’s day. For weeks afterward I remembered the crash in images as I fell asleep. But in that moment, touching the tree and remembering that day – all I saw were the faces of people who surrounded me like the great cloud of witnesses, and in my weakest moment gave me the courage and strength that I lacked on my own.

Swooped Up

During the next twenty-four hours at camp, I remembered one moment in particular. It wasn’t hitting the tree. It was lying in the hospital. Surrounded by Tammie and my cousins and the doctors, my head spinning from the events of what happened, the medication and the trauma. The chaplain walked into the room and introduced herself and she discovered who we were. Her statement was extraordinary, “you must be the one all the Lutherans keep calling about.” I knew in that moment of frailty and great anxiety that somehow, no matter what happened things were going to be ok. It was if, as a colleague reminded me in a conversation the next day, “God had swooped me up in a big warm embrace.” She was right. That was how it felt when I broke my head. thought I might feel standing there. Instead the image I saw was an open future, no longer defined by a broken head. Instead I saw a whole new life to live. In the end it is only a tree. It can go on growing right where it stands.

Facing our Past

We all have a past. We all have to face it. Maybe yours isn’t filled by an accident. Maybe it is. Maybe it is littered with guilt about past decisions. Maybe it is filled with choices not made. Maybe it is haunted by things others have done that impacted your trajectory. Maybe yours collided with an immovable object that left you lying helpless on the ground. Whatever it is, how do you feel about it? Awkward? Out of place? Angry? Sad? Remorseful? Regretful? Maybe you feel a little of each of these things. Whatever you feel or think about it, don’t run away. Turn around and face it. You may feel like you need to face it alone. But we’re never alone. That’s the point of what faith is all about. In Christ we face our past together, and whatever else seeks to define us is washed away. In the end we have a whole new life to lead. In the end it is only a tree.

Into the Future

I walked back to the Conference Center and met my colleagues and friends. We had wonderful conversations about where the church was now and the future to which we are called. I felt privileged to be part of it. I was grateful for my colleagues and friends and the community into which I am grounded, a community that stands rooted in the promises of God – as we face the truth of who we are, to receive the promise of who we are called to be. We face our past not only alone but together. By this act of truth-telling; confession; repentance; we reach out and touch the thing that has kept us in the past until now. We seek also the closure; forgiveness; and warm embrace of God who calls into a future where our past no longer defines us. In Christ; his cross; his death; his resurrection we have that open future, and a community of other renewed people claimed not by a tree, but by the closure of the one who makes all things new.

Face your tree. Receive the promise: In Christ you are made free.
It is only a tree. Embrace this closure: Walk forward in the newness of life in Christ.

Peace,
Pastor Geoff
__________
“The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God has come near; repent, and believe in the good news.” (Mark 1:15)

What is Confession?
Confession consists of two parts. One is that we confess our sins. The other is that we receive the absolution, that is forgiveness, from the pastor as from God himself and by no means doubt but firmly believe that our sins are thereby forgiven before God in heaven. (Martin Luther, “Small Catechism, Evangelical Lutheran Worship. [Minneapolis: Augsburg Fortress, 2005], pp. 1165.)
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* In addition to serving as Pastor of St. Michael’s, I am also the Dean of the Southern CT Conference – 11 churches in Fairfield County – of the New England Synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America – http://www.nesyond.org. The Deans of our Synod met with Bishop Hazelwood and his staff to team build, check-in, and plan for the future. Camp Calumet is the ELCA Outdoor Ministry site for the New England Synod, located in Freedom, NH – www.calumet.org

“A Different Kind of Power” Sermon on Acts 16:16-34 and John 17:22-23

May 12, 2013
Easter 7

“A Different Kind of Power”
Sermon on Acts 16:!6-34 and John 17:22-23

St. Michael’s Lutheran Church
New Canaan, CT

Seeking Confidence

Can I do this? Can we do this? Is it even possible?

Legend of Sisyphus – eternity pushing a rock up a hill

My colleague, friend and mentor – Pastor Bill Carter, used to say, “Most of ministry is pushing a big rock up a hill.” We can infer that faith is also like that. Even life can be like that too. What he meant was that to stick with it; to push forward; to look to the future with confidence; is hard work, just like pushing a big rock up a hill is hard work. One slip, and the rock rolls back down the other direction. Vigilance, control, skill and strength are required to keep the rock not only in place, but moving against the very nature of gravity. As Bishop Jim Hazelwood reminded us on Sunday, “When Jesus said, ‘Go make disciples,’ he didn’t say it was going to be easy.” If life, faith, and ministry can be compared to pushing a big rock up a hill – it is no easy task. How do we not get crushed under the load? It begins with how we start to answer these questions:

Can I do this? Can we do this? Is it even possible?

ANSWER 1:

No, I can’t. No, we won’t. No, it isn’t.

Any venture left untried has a 100% failure rate. Yet many live this way. People get discouraged. Faith is abandoned when times get tough. Communities struggle and choose to turn inward and become insular toward the world rather than engage it. It is amazing how many communities of faith in times when the stakes are as high as we have ever faced, crumble under the weight of the big rock before them. Old strategies that have proven over time to be ineffective are tried again. Good old days are nostalgically remembered as being problem free. Energy is spent and squandered running around without direction looking for quick fixes. Blame is passed around. People may be deeply committed. People may be incredibly loyal. People may be sweet, good-natured, generous, lovely human beings that become like family. But when it comes time to risk, to try something new, to take the big rock before them and give a big push – the answer is, “No, I can’t do this, No we won’t do this, No, it isn’t even possible.” Any venture left untried has a 100% failure rate. It may even feel like people are trying to push the rock down the other way. No wonder so many congregations are shrinking. No wonder so many people are spiritual but not religious. No wonder so many people’s lives seem to be spiraling out of control with no end in sight.

ANSWER 2:

Maybe, but only if…

This answer sounds a lot more positive than the first, but ends up in the same place.   There may be a desire for change, but the impetus comes from uncontrollable factors, and even looking in the wrong place for solutions. “We would have a bigger Sunday School if families weren’t so busy.” “We would have enough money if only we had more people to support the budget.” “We would have enough leaders to run our structure if only people were more committed.” When we start the conversation from this place we start to measure things like the circumference of the rock and dwell upon its size, we speculate its mass rather than celebrate any forward progress, and we start to wonder how much longer we can hold our ground until this big rock’s weight will run us over. Fear sets in. We start to look at others not as partners but with suspicion, and ultimately the summit of the hill, and the adventure of climbing the hill are replaced by the rock we start to possess as our prize possession. “Can I push this rock up the hill? Can we do this together? Is it even possible?” Why bother? We already have the rock – the object of our affection…

ANSWER 3:

Yes, with the help of God.

“When Jesus said, ‘Go make disciples’ he didn’t say it was going to be easy.” We should expect our lives, faith and the ministry we share to be challenging. We should anticipate adversity.
Jesus promised, “I will be with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20);         but he also promised that the Spirit will guide us. We can speculate how the Spirit might be at work in and around the world; but to seek confidence we most clearly understand the Spirit pointing us back to Christ, through his word, in faith.

Jesus said, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also. And you know the way to the place where I am going.”

Thomas said to him, “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?”

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life.” (John 14:1-6a)

Faith is the confidence to believe that whatever happens to us, we are never forsaken.     We will face adversity. The challenge of our calling’s constant weight is ever-present. The hill looms large, and the distance is great. Jesus reminds us, “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30). Jesus is the way. If God can raise the dead, what are we so worried about? Up the hill we go. We seek confidence not in a mythic past or by our own abilities to keep us going,* but rather by seeking confidence that Paul once proclaimed, “I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).

This weekend we celebrated 50 years of ministry at St. Michael’s. These last five decades have been far from easy. The saints in this place have long struggled and long been fed by the word and promises of God in Christ. The Spirit keeps blowing. Our partnerships keep growing. The hill is still before us. Our Congregation President, Bill Quinn, mentioned in an email to Council on Monday, “Congrats to everyone for making yesterday a terrific celebration. A great job. Period. On to the next thing.” Amen. Let’s be on our way.

Peace,
Pastor Geoff
__________
Jesus said,
“But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything, and remind you of all that I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid. You heard me say to you, “I am going away, and I am coming to you.’ If you loved me, you would rejoice that I am going to the Father, because the Father is greater than I. And now I have told you this before it occurs, so that when it does occur, you may believe. I will no longer talk much with you, for the ruler of this world is coming. He has no power over me; but I do as the Father has commanded me, so that the world may know that I love the Father. Rise, let us be on our way.”          (John 14:26-31)

* I believe in the Holy Spirit…

What does this mean?
I believe that by my own understanding or strength I cannot believe in Jesus Christ my Lord or come to him, but instead the Holy Spirit has called me through the gospel, enlightened me with his gifts, made me holy and kept me in the true faith, just as he calls, gathers, enlightens and makes holy the whole Christian church on earth and keeps it with Jesus Christ in the one common, true faith. Daily in this Christian church the Holy Spirit abundantly forgives all sins – mine and of all believers. On the last day the Holy Spirit will raise me and all the dead and will give to me and all believers in Christ eternal life. This is most certainly true. (Martin Luther, “The Small Catechism,” Evangelical Lutheran Worship. [Minneapolis: Augsburg Fortress, 2005], p. 1162.)

“No longer ‘they’ but ‘we’” – Sermon on Acts 16:9-15, Bishop Jim Hazelwood, St. Michael’s 50th Anniversary

May 5, 2013, Easter 6

St. Michael’s 50th Anniversary

with Bishop Jim Hazelwood, New England Synod, ELCA

Sermon on Acts 16:9-15, “No Longer ‘They’ but ‘We’”

St. Michael’s Lutheran Church, New Canaan, CT

Seeking Identity

Who am I?

Discovering our identity is a lifelong query in which we keep discerning answers.  Names often reveal much about us, especially for the things out of our control. We carry with us our families’ surname, and even if we change it or marry into another one, we carry it with us our whole lives.  Before my grandfather entered World War II, he almost changed Sinibaldo to Sinclair.  He was the son of Italian immigrants. His mother was illiterate. She only spoke Italian. He wanted to speak English and become an American family now. In those days the ideal was the American melting pot; you could come from anywhere, but there was still the myth of a monolithic American culture; not the subsets of diversity we have come to understand and embrace today. I am quite glad that he kept the name Sinibaldo because I think it’s great. It is unique. Our name used to end with an “i” (Sinibaldi). The name was changed by the neighbor kid who misspelled it when filling out my grandfather’s paperwork to go to public school in Chicago as a boy.

Our parents give us first names; they pick them for a variety of reasons. Maybe they just liked it. Maybe your name was popular at the time. Maybe it is because of a family connection. I was named Jeff because my parents like the name but it was popular then so they decided to spell it in the English way with a “G”.  When I was a young child I was picked on because of it. As I got older I came to embrace it. By the time I started working at camp and my good friend (also named Jeff) and I became inseparable, my name became a real source of pride. G-Geoff and J-Jeff were on the loose!  We still are

When we named our children, Tammie and I took this task of naming very seriously. We wanted family names. We wanted to claim some of our heritage.  So we named Joe – Giuseppe Waldemar, and we named Mia – Amelia Louisa.  They have short functional names for everyday use, but also deeply meaningful ones. My grandfather was Armando Giuseppe. He always went by AJ. He was almost Sinclair. Instead, his friends called him “Sini.” Joe was born on my grandfather’s birthday. Armando Giuseppe Sinibaldo now had a great-grandson named after him.  At Tammie’s grandmothers’ funeral, we learned her middle name – Amelia. We turned and looked at each other with a single gaze, knowing if we ever had a daughter, Amelia would be her name.  Later discovering that Mia is often an Italian nickname for Amelia sealed the deal. My sister and her husband have done the same thing, but in a different way.  Scotland means something to them even though neither of them have that heritage. They travelled there, and it became a part of who they are. So their two kids – Liam and Isla (Pronounced “Eye La” like Island – born Monday, April 29!) have Scottish first names to root them in that identity and their parents’ story. Their middle names are named after grandparents.  So their names are – Liam Henry, and Isla Norma Jeannette.  Throughout their lives (just as all of us) they will come to understand their names and I hope they find meaning in them.  I hope all of us do. Our names are an important part of who we are and who we are called to be.

Have you ever discovered why you have the name that you do?

Have you ever looked in a baby book to see what your name means? 

How do you see the world having the name that you do?

If you ever named something or someone, why did you pick that name?

We also have another name and another identity. In the mystery that is baptism we are washed in the water and claimed by God’s Word.  We are joined to the name of the Holy Trinity. In our tradition when a person is baptized the pastor will say their name followed by, “I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.” In the dance that is one in three and three in one we enter the movement of God naming us, and claiming us as his own, “I have called you by name and you are mine” (Isaiah 43:1).

People have long debated the partnership of baptism and faith, what the relationship is between those who are baptized and those who are not, and whether baptism is the beginning of faith or an expression of it.  Two things we should bear in mind are that Jesus commands us to baptize (Matthew 28:16-20) and welcomes us to baptism to receive his grace and the Holy Spirit (Titus 3:5-8). Faith trusts what God promises, at whatever age we enter it, to share the gift of what is promised with others.  The most important part is the relationship that binds us to God and to one another, “There is one body and one Spirit , just as you were called to the one hope of your calling, one faith, one Lord, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is above all and through all and in all” (Ephesians 4:4-6).

Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote,

“Baptism makes us members of the body of Christ. We are ‘baptized into’ Christ (Galatians 3:27; Romans 6:3); we are ‘brought into one body by baptism’ (1 Corinthians 12:13).  In our death in baptism, the Holy Spirit thus appropriates to us personally what Christ in his body has gained for the whole of humanity. We receive the community of the body of Christ in the same way the disciples and followers of Jesus received it in the early days, and this means we are now ‘with Christ’ and ‘in Christ,’ and that ‘Christ is in us.’” (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Discipleship. [Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 2001], p. 216.)

In baptism we are brought into the body of Christ to live as the body of Christ. This new identity becomes who we are as Jesus sends us as/with/in his body into the world. Just as we discern the name given to us at birth, we discover our new identity at this new birth, born of water and spirit (John 3:5). Leaving our old life behind, we walk anew into a new day.

Who are we?

We keep asking. There are many particulars of our past and present that form our identity that continue to be revealed. Yet, we are called into the future. For that future we are given the identity of Christ, who so loves the world. We are called into the life of the risen Christ, to believe, to follow, to bear the cross, to emerge from death, to bear witness, to bring good news, to forgive and be forgiven, to love as we are loved, even when we get it wrong, misspell, or forget who we are. Even so, God welcomes us into the Triune dance as we tread into the wilderness; still discovering for ourselves and discerning together what this promise means as we meet others along the way. Baptized in Christ we are set free and on the loose!

Peace,
Pastor Geoff
__________
“When you were buried with him in baptism, you were also raised with him through faith in the power of God, who raised him from the dead.” (Colossians 2:12)

What is baptism?
Baptism is not simply plain water. Instead it is water according to God’s command and connected to God’s Word.

What then is the word of God?
Where our Lord Jesus Christ says in Matthew 28:19, ‘Go therefore and baptize all nations, baptizing them in Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.’ (Martin Luther, “Small Catechism,” Evangelical Lutheran Worship. [Minneapolis: Augsburg Fortress, 2005], p. 1164.)

St. Michael’s is 50!

May 5, 2013, St. Michael’s Lutheran Church, New Canaan, CT celebrates 50 years of ministry!

Sermon on Acts 11:4-12, John 13:34-35, “A Different Kind of Relationship” (Who is God for?)

April 28, 2013, Easter 6
“A Different Kind of Relationship” (Who is God for?)
Sermon on Acts 11:4-12, John 13:34-35 (with help from John 3:16)

St. Michael’s Lutheran Church, New Canaan, CT